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Hearts Of Purple

1 day 23 hours ago

🤔What are some good narcissism tests?

Ask the prospect,”What is something you’re mediocre at?” Contrary to popular opinion, narcissists don’t think they’re great at everything, only things they care about. But they are all or nothing. If the prospect is a narcissist, you might get a confused look, or a blank stare.
Ask the prospect what kind of movies they like. If they say movies which involve empathy to understand, then that’s a negative to narcissism. If they say horror movies, action movies, or others that don’t involve empathy to understand, they’re still in the hunt.
Ask them what their childhood was like. A narcissist will tell you either it was great, or horrible; nothing in between.
Tell them something about yourself, like “I didn’t sleep well last night, only 4 hours” and see if they react normally. A normal reaction is,” That’s too bad. Are you worried about something?” or “That’s too bad. Do you know why not?,” something like that. An abnormal response is, “That’s nothing, I only slept two.”
Blame them for something, anything (it can be trivial, like “you turned the wrong way” or “you forgot to call me”) and see if they respond normally. A narcissist will justify their own behavior and blame you (although if they’re in the idealization phase, they might not).
If you’re in a restaurant, see if they’ll let you order for them, or pick out the movie you’re going to. They like to be in control.
Ask them to sit in the back of the car (or anything else that might seem slightly demeaning).
Observe how they treat other people. You’re looking for politeness and normality. Remember they might be trying to impress you. You want nice, but not over the top.
See if they brag about how good they are at things, or if they make comments about themselves when the flow if conversation has nothing to do with them.
Look for any mature emotion, such as gratitude, remorse, empathy, disinterested love. You can look up what mature emotions are. Narcissists don’t have any of these, but they can fake certain things, but your intuition will pick up that something’s off, if you pay attention, like “Invasion of the Body Snatchers.”
It’s sort of fun to thinking of these, but you can do it yourself by knowing what to look for. The number one thing to look for is empathy. Say things about yourself, and see if the prospect is empathetic.

Do not confuse attention for empathy. Narcissists are fantastic at attention during the idealization phase, but they absolutely don’t get empathy.

Look for extreme behavior. They’ll be “off” in different ways, like too attentive, too nice, too nosy, too this or that, where the things can be good things.

What you want (to exempt the prospect) is normal, not extreme, and calm. Narcissists are never calm. They’re agitated, or happy, or sad, always something, but not calm. They’ll never yawn (unless you’re talking; this was a joke, but the calm thing is serious).

Here are traits to look for:

A lack of empathy
A high sense of entitlement
A need for control
Splitting behavior (if you don’t know what this is, you can research it, but this accounts for the all or nothing behavior).
Extremely self referential; very interested in their opinions, all things having to do with themselves.